I’m cat-apartment-sitting in Astoria. These streets once felt like a blank canvas, a fresh start. I lived here on and off for a few years but these days it’s a place I associate with uncertainty, rash decisions, but still a sense of comfort. It was the only place, aside from my parent’s neighborhood, where I got to live in very close proximity to my best friends. It feels strange to come back here with most of those people gone but because its Queens the streets still permeate with familiarity.
Truth be told, I’m still listening to imagine on loop and watching Ariana’s live performance of it on Jimmy Fallon’s show.. The denial and ability to envision something bigger, long-lasting with someone is a feeling I so often relate to and there’s a comfort in knowing that even the world’s largest celebrities also feel those feelings. That maybe sounds deeper than it really is. The people singing these songs (usually) aren’t celebrities when they started singing so the feelings existed before the stardom - I’m thinking about this too much, moving on!
It is Christmas Eve today. The holiday season has historically been the high before a crash for me. Its filled with my sister’s birthdays, so many parties, reunions, and my own birthday. Once the last thing is wrapped up it’s usually hard to find things to look forward to until the weather gets warm but I think I’ve been preoccupied with so many other things it felt like the holidays creeped up so quickly that I didn’t have time to think about them. This year feels different, I feel more even keeled for whatever reason (lots of them, too much detail for my second post). But I’ll take it!
Here are my favorite holiday songs to listen to of the pop-variety because this is a rare instance where I feel like more contemporary songs are overshadowed by the legacy of older ones, OBVIOUSLY not looking at you Mariah.
Justin Bieber, Mistletoe
Ariana Grande, Wit It This Christmas (I’m two-for-two for posts with Ariana references and already feel self-conscious about it)
Kanye West, Christmas in Harlem
Christina Aguilera, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Kacey Musgraves, Christmas Don’t Be Late
Have a great holiday, everyone (probably just my dad reading this). And to those who have a hard time during this time of year, I love you and am thinking of you!